Divenire

5) Get a "divenire" tattoo: Much more on the meaning behind this later.


Well, it's later! More importantly, it's officially crossed off the list.

I am a huge, HUGE, music fan and am always excited to get recommendations on different artists from friends. Last year, my friend Holly introduced me to the music of Italian composer Ludovico Einaudi. The second I heard his work, I knew my life had changed for the better. Every song was it's own piece of art and I felt myself go into a trance whenever I would play anything in his catalog. I was listening to songs on repeat for days and sometimes even weeks at a time. Now I'm usually pretty invested when there is music that speaks to me and I'll go on a kick where I listen mostly to that one artist but this was  unparalled. The way his music makes me feel is so overwhelming sometimes that I literally cannot do anything. I just sit. Then there are times when I need to put all my focus into a particular task and the second I put on my headphones I am in this productivity trance where I have zero concept of anything that is happening around me. It's good for getting work done but also makes my heart skip a beat when people come up behind me at my desk and scare the hell out of me.

I could go on for hours about the way I feel when I listen to Ludovico Einaudi's music but the next stage for me after I listen to an artist over and over is that I have to see them live. And it's an intense focus and priority of mine to make this happen. Now, this is easier with local bands or even bigger US bands but this was an Italian classical pianist I was focused on.  After months and months of waiting, I saw Ludovico was going to be in Vancouver in May. The next stop after that was San Francisco but, unlike most artists, he was not going to make a stop in Seattle. I was devastated. The SF show just did not work for my schedule and the Vancouver show (while only three hours away) was creating some logistical hiccups. I don't normally go to shows alone but finding someone willing to accompany me to Vancouver to see a classical artist wasn't exactly high on people's list of fun things to do over Memorial Day weekend. Not to mention that I couldn't just invite anybody to this. I knew it was going to be a magical night and it had to be shared with the right person. Someone who would get it. Hands weren't exactly being raised in excitement of sharing this experience with me! Second problem- my car was being an asshole that week and I wasn't really wanting to drive. Third problem- it was a holiday (for us)  and finding a hotel was proving to be a challenge. Things weren't looking good.

On the Tuesday before the show I went out to dinner with some friends and we were talking about our weekend plans when my lovely friend, Annie, mentioned she was heading to Vancouver that weekend to visit a friend. I mentioned my Ludovico sitch and, long story short, a trip and a free place to stay in Vancouver fell into my lap in a matter of minutes. I had no excuses now. All I needed was a ticket! A quick online search scored me a solo seat in the second row AND an autographed copy of his new album that I could pick up at the show. Jackpot!

When my friends dropped me off at the show I had this weird feeling before I went inside. I just knew this was going to be something I wanted to remember forever and I took my time taking it all in. I got my cd and my unbelievable seat and waited for the magic to begin. There is no greater feeling to me than those few moments between when the lights go out and when the performer(s) take the stage. The audience erupts into thunderous applause and there are goosebumps and excitement and knowing we are all going to be seeing something together that no one outside of those walls will experience is quite the bonding agent.

Ludovico and his ensemble took the stage and I closed my eyes. The second I heard that first note on the piano, I started to cry. And I didn't stop for two hours. It was the most overwhelming and beautiful experience of my life and from the moment I heard the music, I knew things were going to be different for me. At one point, he played Nuvole Bianche (the song that started it all for me) and then he played I Giorni and I was sobbing. Seriously. I let out a very audible gasp at the end of that song and the guy next to me looked at me like I was crazy but I couldn't help it. It was stunning and unlike anything I have ever experienced. It was perfect. It felt like falling in love for the first time. But it also felt like losing a great love and I couldn't tell if I was sad or happy or exactly what emotion I was experiencing. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders but I couldn't explain why. It was such an emotional night but I could say with much more certainty and clarity now that it was not only the best musical experience I've ever had but also one of the best moments of my life.

When I left that show and Vancouver I just felt...different. I felt inspired again to do all those things I've been wanting to do for years. I came home that weekend and I wrote, and wrote and wrote. Ludovico was my muse and was inspiring me to create and just do more. Enough spending time and energy on things that didn't matter, it was time to start really living.

I knew I needed to do something to make sure I always remembered that night and the rest of that weekend,  I listened to nothing but Ludovico Einaudi and the song Divenire was speaking to me. I Giorni is my favorite one but there is something about Divenire that I couldn't shake. And then I looked up the meaning of the word "divenire" and I got butterflies in my stomach. It means "to become" in Italian. Perfetto. As soon as I discovered the meaning, I knew I wanted a tattoo of the word "divenire" to remember this feeling forever. It was the perfect word for what his music inspires me to do- it reminds me to live, to take action and to become something more.

My dear, dear friend Dani visited me in Seattle last weekend and I told her the story and in typical Dani fashion, she said "Excellent. Let's go do it today." And so I did. What started out as a small tattoo of the word on my wrist turned into a large tattoo on my forearm. Talking it through with D, it just felt right. It was a bold statement and needed to be displayed as such. It took three rounds of drawings from my artist and 15 minutes of actually being inked and I couldn't be happier with it. Every time I see a glimpse of it in the mirror, I am reminded of that night and get those butterflies all over again.

I still listen to Ludovico every day and when I Giorni comes on, I always gasp for air the second it begins. It takes me right back to that incredible evening and literally takes my breathe away. Every single time.

The day after I got my ink, I found this quote from Ludovico Einaudi that summed up all the emotions I felt that night and reassured me that this was meant to be "It's only when we become aware or are reminded that time is limited that we can channel our energy into truly living." Esattamente.

5) Get a "divenire" tattoo: Much more on the meaning behind this later.